I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
