The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize