I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
