you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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