at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
