Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
