If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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