Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
