When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
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