I CAN MOONWALK!
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
