apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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