Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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