I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
