I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
