real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
