We're facebook friends in real life
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
