So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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