Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
We smell like vodka and hangover
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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