She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We have started to decorate penises.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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