i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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