I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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