she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize