Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
