you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize