i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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