He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
