dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
