I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize