Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
