GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize