My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
