piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
