Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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