I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
