Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Randomize