My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
what day is it and did you see me today?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
