thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize