i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
They are going to name an STD after you.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
