ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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