He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Oh god it's open bar.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
