Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
They are going to name an STD after you.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
