He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
