Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
