Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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