So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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