Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
