Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
