rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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