we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
this is an emotional support booty call
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm like, not good at living.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
