I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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