Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
