yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
