Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
