So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize