Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
