just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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