toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
