I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
farters have to be the big spoon...
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
