uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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