She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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