I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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