U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
