Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I want to fling myself into the sun
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
